On the road again.

Last Friday night I went out... not just outside but all the way out. I started to notice things, things that did not fit and I decided to write them down just in case... here is what I noticed:


1. There was a man at East Ringwood station, very clean-cut in appearance hugging the small fluffy dog to his chest.


2. Why is Boxhill Central full of extremely overweight people in wheelchairs at 8:00pm on a Saturday night?


3. It is never appropriate to sing along to Throbbing Gristle in public:

"There's a hundred ways I could persuade you,
I could do it with money, I could just look at you,
and if I do, I've got a little biscuit tin to keep your panties in"


4. Why do goths of all ages feel the need to wear a backpack with Sesame Street/The Wiggles/Power Rangers characters on it for ironic counterpoint?


5. The sign at the counter in Clay Pot House said: Homade Chilly Sauce.


6. The Carpenters really do sound better when sung in some South-East Asian dialect over a kareoke backing track!


7. Oh my God, the woman at the counter in the Asian grocery store across the road from Clay Pot House is an exact replica of the restaurant owner.


8. Whilst waiting for a city-bound train at Boxhill train station I become a acutely aware that the girl standing next to me who looked like your typical indie-rock hipster was not what she seemed... attached to her belt was a utility pouch containing a pair of worn electrical pliers.


9. The junkie at Richmond Train Station (yet another changeover!!!!) does not look friendly. He is carrying a component hi-fi radio tuner looking suspicious and his girlfriend has very tattooed calves. Everyone on the train platform seems very anxious to be on the move and this restless vibe is causing me to pace and write very messily.


10. Still at Richmond waiting for a service on the Sandringham line and... GODDAMN IT... why are the clocks and the next available train monitors never in synch? How can it be 15 minutes to the next train if it is currently 9:17 and the next train is coming at 9:28?!!!!!!


11. Graffiti writers trying to look very 'tough' and 'street' should avoid spraying their tag in bright pink paint.


12. If you are a girl there is a fine art to getting shit-faced and trying to vomit whilst wearing tall stilettos and a short skirt. Bend over too far one way and everyone can see up your skirt but but bend over too little and you risk your party dress being covered in vomit chunks.


13. There is something indicative about white trash... they are always the ones trying to scam a free ride on the bus at the end of the night like it is their birthright to be there!