sexxx is weird (a set of two)

ONE.

A few years back after making a whirlwind mess off leaving home I landed back there with a thud. During this time I was smoking a lot of pot and eating a lot of codeine. Instead of sleeping at night I would prowl the nether regions of the internet looking for that one piece of internet porn that would go far enough to make me feel physically sick... I saw all kinds of BDSM, shit eating, water sports. role playing, midget sex, vomit extreme dildo action but nothing that could make me feel sufficiently enough ashamed to be human. Surprisingly in addition to hiding my rather unpleasant and unacceptable codeine habit I was also at this time able to maintain some semblance of normalcy by being engaged in a relationship with a real live human female. Anyway, one morning as the sun came up I was in my room trying to catch a couple of hours sleep before I had to be ready for work when I had the most horrible dream:


I dreamt that I was kissing my significant other when all of a sudden my mouth started to fill with semen which was leaking out from her lips. I tried to ignore it but there was so much it filled my mouth. I'd swallow but it would just keep coming and eventually I felt as if I was drowning in the jism.


Ay some point i woke up, vomited all over myself and passed out again only to wake late for work and glued to my pillow with stale puke.



TWO.

Last night Andre called me inside to show me pictures of genital herpes he has to study for work... his company is launching a new treatment for the virus. Most of the pictures looked like the people had attempted unsuccessfully to remove their sex organs with a cheese grater, a pot of boiling water and a sharpened spoon.


I felt quite unwell afterwards.