Taking stock of the new situation.

This new life of mine, the house and my live in landlord/pseudo-housemate are a creepy kind of wholesome. It feels very strange but not the kind of strange I am used to or comfortable with. Gone is the 'I-haven't-slept-for-days-everyone-is-against-me-methamphetamine-I-can-smell-your-thoughts-vicious' kind of crazy I feel at home in and in it's place a low key sort of Twin Peaks hum is left to bug me.


So lets line up the facts and see what kind of picture it paints:

1>He never asks me for my rent and doesn't seem to care when I don't front up with the cash. Then on the odd occasion I remember to pay he looks all surprised as if to say 'Why are you doing this for me?'

2>He cooks for me every night out of his groceries without being asked or asking me if I want him to.

3>He plies me with expensive chocolate and imported beer every time he sees me lumped in front of the television set.

4>He has a huge over protective dog called Mitch. They share his double bed. When he sleeps in till lunch time on a Saturday he says it's because he looked at Mitch's peaceful, sleeping face and couldn't bring himself to disturb him by leaving the bed.

5>He is traveling salesman who represents a huge pharmaceuticals company hawking prescription drugs all up and down the east coast to retail chemists.

6>He takes Mitch along for his sales trips in the back of the car... even if he is going to be gone for weeks.

7>He is a passionate Volvo driver.

8>He used to be an officer for the Federal Police but quit because it was too boring... he says his new job is much more to his tastes, and far more exciting(?)

9>He has a television off to the side of his home office which seems to play terrible Hollywood formula comedy movies on an endless loop. This week I have seen various parts of 'The Guru' at least ten times (and I am not even the one who has to sit in there for hours a day!). I asked him if he liked the movie and he told me he hadn't really been paying much attention.

10> He has a floor to ceiling cupboard filled with brand new Nike shoes still in their boxes. Each box is spaced the exact same distance from its neighbours.


This shit just don't add up!